


death has your eyes

by wurin



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Drift Compatibility, M/M, Pacific Rim AU, Smut, Soul Bond, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:47:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28137180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wurin/pseuds/wurin
Summary: It happens in Hong Kong.The first time Taeyong tries to Drift with someone, he’s almost twenty-one years old and he doesn’t have any scar on his body.It doesn’t end well, far from it.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 18
Kudos: 135





	death has your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in literally four days, not kidding, so if it sucks it’s because my brain is fried... i rewatched pacific rim last week and i couldn’t stop myself from coming up with a dotae au so here we are haha  
> i hope you’ll like it!! let me know your thoughts please 💞
> 
> english is not my first language so forgive me if there are mistakes!

The first time Taeyong sees a Kaiju, he’s nine years old. He knows what a Kaiju is, everyone does, it’s the first thing parents teach to their kids. It’s not the _don’t ever talk to strangers_ , or the _don’t cross the road if I’m not holding your hand_ anymore. It’s _if_ _you see a Kaiju, run as fast as you can, even if you feel like you can’t breathe_. That’s what his mother always tells him and his sister.

Taeyong has always known what a Kaiju is, he doesn’t go a day without seeing one on television. But it’s when he’s nine years old that he actually sees one. His sister is holding his hand, her grip is tight, too tight for his own small hand, and yet, he doesn’t feel any pain.

He’s scared, he has never felt so scared, not even when his sister pretends to faint because she enjoys seeing Taeyong’s fat tears too much.

“N-noona”, he manages to stutter, word a whisper that he’s not even sure his sister heard with all the noise surrounding them.

The Kaiju is big, too big, and it’s too fast. It destroys each building it touches and Taeyong isn’t running away, his sister’s not doing what their mother tells them to do if they ever see a Kaiju.

When he loses the grip around the ice cream he is holding into his other hand, and it falls on the ground, he doesn’t even notice it. He can only see the Kaiju and hear all the people screaming around him.

“Taeyong-ah,” his sister speaks, putting her body in front of Taeyong, she’s taller, but he can still see the monster behind her, getting closer with each second passing.

“Taeyong-ah, look at me,” she says, and Taeyong moves his eyes on her. She doesn’t look scared, but there are tears in her eyes, falling down on her cheeks.

“Noona,” he sobs, and then, he glances at the Kaiju, it’s _so_ close.

His sister cups Taeyong’s face in her hands, catching his attention again. “You have to hide, Taeyong-ah,” she tells him, and even if her voice isn’t loud, he can still hear her.

After, she pushes him towards a narrow alley, Taeyong tries to take her hands and run with her, but they slip away, fingers just brushing.

“Run!” she screams, and even if he doesn’t want to, even if he wants his sister to go with him, he runs. “Run like Mom says!”

Taeyong runs, but his eyes remain on his sister.

That’s the last time he sees her. She’s wearing a blue dress with white and yellow flowers on it, and her eyes are full of tears. But she’s smiling.

Taeyong doesn’t remember what happens after. Or maybe, he doesn’t want to.

:

“Welcome to Jeju-do Bay,” are the first words Taeyong hears as soon as he puts his foot off the helicopter.

It’s not a great welcome, though.

It seems like the sky is going to fall down soon and destroy the whole island, the wind is so strong that the helicopter had problems with landing on the hangar and the rain feels like sharp blades on his skin.

“I’m General Son Jihu,” the man says over the sound of the rain, a hand extended towards him, “it’s nice to finally have you here.”

“Lee Taeyong,” he says back, even if General Son Jihu already knows his name, just like Taeyong knows his. He doesn’t have to glance down to see the prosthetic hand, he can feel the cold metal under his own skin.

“This is Nakamoto Yuta, Jaeger Pilot of the Obake,” then he tells him, gesturing to the man who’s a step behind. Taeyong has seen him plenty of times through a screen, but never face-to-face.

“It’s a pleasure to have you here,” Nakamoto Yuta greets him with a bow of his head, and Taeyong returns it back. He’s not surprised to see a scar that starts from the side of his right cheekbone and then disappears into his dark blue hair. It wasn’t there the last time he saw the other on television. Taeyong can guess how he got it.

“I hope I will be of use here,” he replies, and then, the General’s rushing them inside the Shatterdome base.

Its insides aren’t much different from the ones of Tokyo and Hong Kong, it’s just metal on metal and endless hallways. People scurrying from one way to another, and the AI talking almost non-stop over all the sounds and voices mingled together.

He couldn’t be sure based on what he saw from the helicopter, but once inside, he’s almost certain the Shatterdome is bigger than any he’s been to. They’re underground, he can’t hear any outside noise anymore. He wonders how deep it goes and they still haven’t used the elevators. If he tunes all the sounds down and concentrates, he can hear the sea, so they must be under its level.

“It’s been busier than usual later,” General Son informs him without sending him a glance, “we’re working on Jaegers day and night to always have them ready.”

Taeyong nods to himself, he knows what not being ready means when a Kaiju is just not many kilometres away ready to destroy entire cities, one after the other, and there’s no Jaeger to stop it.

Taeyong experienced it in Tokyo, and he hopes to never experience it again.

Then, the General halts his step, turning around. He’s tall and broad, but the aura that surrounds him makes him look even bigger. “I won’t go around the matter,” the man keeps speaking, looking at him now, “you’re here because you’re a valuable asset and we need your help to close the Breach in the East China Sea. There’s an attack almost once every three weeks and we won’t be able to hold them off for much longer.”

Taeyong knows why he’s there, of course. He’s the only Fighter Aircraft Pilot who took down a Kaiju by himself and that was in the crew that closed the Breach in the North Pacific Sea, he’s not considered the best Pilot for nothing. And Taeyong also knows that there’s something else they didn’t tell him, something that they kept hidden. He just hopes it won’t end with his death, or even worse.

“Yes, Sir, I’m aware,” he answers, and after the man has nodded, he starts walking again. Taeyong, and Yuta by his side, follow him.

“We have only four Jaegers in Jeju-do,” General Son says once they enter the Jaeger Hangars.

Even if Taeyong sees a Jaeger almost each day of his life, when his eyes land on the four in the Hangars, he’s left breathless for a second. They’re bigger than the ones in Tokyo, and also more worn out.

“That’s Obake, Neo-2 Serie,” Yuta speaks for the first time since they entered the Shatterdome, his hand is pointing at a red Jaeger with white and yellow details. “A mix of the hardest and strongest metals, piloted by me and my partner, Dong Sicheng. We have nine kills on our belts with it.”

Taeyong already knows everything he needs to know about the Jeju-do Shatterdome, its General, its Jaegers and Pilots, but he lets the other speak anyway. Actually, he knows everything about each Shatterdome in the world.

“That one is Nekros, Neo-V 9 Serie, the best to fight Kaiju in water,” Yuta points to a Jaeger that must have been white when it was new, now it’s a mix of white and light grey, “piloted by Wong Yukhei and Kim Jungwoo. Seven kills, all in water.”

Taeyong has met Wong Yukhei once in Hong Kong, but he still wasn’t a Jaeger Pilot. He was young and already tall, so after almost four years, he must be even taller.

“The blue one is Blue Skorpion, Neo-18 Serie, piloted by Suh Youngho and Jung Jaehyun. They’ve been here the longest, fifteen kills and twenty-three attacks.” The Jaeger is the biggest one in the Hangars, but an arm is missing. “During the last attack, a Category IV Kaiju bit the arm off, but they still were able to kill it and return safely. It should be ready for combat in a few days.”

Taeyong nods, “It’s big,” he comments, looking up, he can’t even see all of it.

“Yeah, one of the biggest,” Yuta says, and only then, Taeyong realises he’s slightly limping on his left leg. The scar on his face isn’t the only injury he got.

“And that’s Alpha Aquarii, Neo-T 5 Serie,” Yuta tells him, thumb pointed to the Jaeger behind him. Taeyong knows it well, too well, and it’s been years he hasn’t seen the Jaeger. It’s dark grey, almost black, core placed at its center. “It lost one of the Pilots and we still haven’t found a replacement. The newbies aren’t experienced enough for a Jaeger like that.”

Taeyong knows everything about Alpha Aquarii. He remembers the day it lost one of his Pilots, one of the Kim brothers.

Since the moment Yuta started talking about the Jaegers, the General hasn’t said a word. Taeyong sends him a glance, the man remains silent, he’s just looking at him, and there’s something in his eyes. At first, he doesn’t understand, but when he does, Taeyong hopes he’s wrong. He hopes with each vessel and bone in his body that he’s wrong, that what he’s seeing in the man’s eyes isn’t there, and yet, deep down he knows he’s not. He just doesn’t want to accept it.

That’s what they didn’t tell him. He’s not there to help with closing the Breach. He’s there to close it himself.

:

The latest attack from a Kaiju that came from the Breach in the East China Sea happened twenty days before Taeyong arrived at the Jeju-do Shatterdome. The next attack happens two days before than it was predicted. Three days after his arrival at the Shatterdome.

The alarm going off is what wakes him up. One second before he has just opened his eyes, and the second after, he’s already up, a foot outside of his bedroom, boot strings untied.

“Category III and Category IV Kaiju detected near the East China Sea Breach,” the AI says over the alarm, “Black Skorpion and Nekros will engage in combat. Obake will back them up.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Taeyong murmurs under his breath, it’s the first time ever both are a high category, usually it’s always a weaker one and a stronger one.

Someone else is running towards the same direction Taeyong is going to, and at first glance, he doesn’t recognise them, but when they both enter the elevator that goes to the LOCCENT Mission Control floor, Taeyong recognises him.

“We still haven’t met,” the other speaks, “Kim Dongyoung, nice to meet you.”

Taeyong nods, “Likewise,” he replies back, “Lee Taeyong.”

They don’t have time to shake hands because the elevator doors open. General Son is already in position, a Technician sat in front of the panels by his side.

“Kim, Lee,” the man greets them, sparing them a brief glance. “We have a big problem.”

“We’re fucked,” Kim Dongyoung says, and no one cares to reprimand him about his language.

“Obake won’t be able to fight at its fullness, Ranger Nakamoto is still not completely healed and we all know Ranger Dong won’t take risks,” the Technician says, _Liu Yangyang_ , Taeyong reads on the badge attached to his chest. “Nekros won’t be able to take both Kaiju even if the fight is in the water and Blue Skorpion’s arm was fixed yesterday, but they didn’t have time to test it.”

Dongyoung chuckles, but he doesn’t sound amused, far from it. “We’re truly fucked.”

The General sighs, “We can’t let the Kaiju reach the shoreline, so even if they won’t be able to kill them, we need to make enough time for the Jaegers from Hong Kong or Nagasaki to be transported there.”

“Nekros ready to Drop,” the AI announces.

“Wong Yukhei and Kim Jungwoo, initiating Neural Handshake,” Yangyang says into the speaker, fingers moving on the panels at a speed Taeyong has never witnessed.

Taeyong watches the process on the screen in front of him, until it reaches one-hundred percent and hears the Drop.

“Nekros ready for combat,” the AI speaks again, and then, the roof of the Shatterdome opens and wires connected to aircrafts lift the Jaeger up.

Soon after, it’s Blue Skorpion’s turn, and then Obake’s.

“Two minutes until the Jaegers reach the Kaiju,” Yangyang tells them, moving from a panel station to another with his chair.

Taeyong’s too focused on the screens in front of him to notice the movements around him. It’s when he feels something placed on his shoulders that he averts his eyes from them.

Kim Dongyoung has been by his side for the whole time, since the moment they got out of the elevator, and he must have noticed Taeyong was shaking. He didn’t think about wearing a jacket when he left his bedroom in a hurry, his only thought was to reach the LOCCENT Mission Control area as soon as possible.

“You’re shaking,” the other tells him under his breath, to explain his actions, to explain the reason why he has placed his own jacket on Taeyong’s shoulders.

Even if he’s cold and there are goosebumps on his arms, Taeyong can still feel the mild blush in his cheeks. He lowers his head not to let the other see it, and when he reads the _Kim Dongyoung, Jaeger Pilot_ on the jacket, he’s certain his cheeks become even more red.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, not sure the words reached the other, but he’s too ashamed to look up and repeat them again.

He’s a fool. He’s not a teenager who blushes when a boy brushes his fingers against his skin, and yet, closer to thirty years old rather than twenty years old, Taeyong’s acting like one just because the man by his side is handsome.

When Taeyong’s going to repeat the words, sure the other hasn’t heard him, “It’s nothing,” he replies back, and maybe Taeyong’s imaging it, or maybe he’s not, but it seems like Dongyoung’s closer to him than he was seconds before, their shoulders almost brush against each other’s. Taeyong fixes his eyes on the screens in front of him again, and he tells himself not to look at anything else, even if he welcomes the sudden warmth. If he tries to wrap himself into the jacket more than he should, he pretends no one can see him.

“Blue Skorpion, Category III Kaiju at your three o’clock,” Yangyang says into the speaker, opening a bigger tab in front of them with all the footage from the cameras on the Jaegers and the ones on the aircrafts. “Nekros, Category IV Kaiju half a mile in front of you. It’s a fish-like one, focus on it.”

“ _Roger that_ ,” Kim Jungwoo says through the speaker, his face displayed on the tab in front of him. The others’ are on it too, but Taeyong keeps his eyes on the footage that shows the outside. There’s movement in the water, but the Kaiju is too fast to be pinpointed from it.

At some point, the water stills, and the second after, the Category IV Kaiju is jumping out of it, mouth open, attack directed to Nekros.

Nekros blocks the attack, but the Kaiju’s tail hits its legs, making the Jaeger falter, and it’s enough for it to free itself.

At the same time, the Category III Kaiju attacks Blue Skorpion, pushing it into the water. Blue Skorpion is back on its feet in a few seconds, and then, it’s charging towards it, a sword in one hand.

Taeyong doesn’t know where to look, both Jaegers are fighting, holding the Kaiju back, and it doesn’t seem like they’re at disadvantage, and yet, each time the Kaiju lands a hit on a Jaeger, Taeyong holds his breath.

Nekros managed to make the Kaiju’s tail explode, but its strongest point is the skin on the rest of its body, it looks iron-clad and the shots don’t go through, a sword would be too weak to cut through it. The only way to kill it is by shooting directly into its mouth, but it’s too risky and Nekros could lose an arm if it doesn’t work.

The Category III Kaiju is weaker, but it looks like Blue Skorpion isn’t fully using the fixed arm, which is a wise decision, if it wasn’t tested, it could malfunction at any point and leave a whole side opened for attacks.

Obake is still, but its guns are out and ready to shoot if a Kaiju gets too close and the other Jaegers aren’t able to reach it.

“ _We need a way to go through its skin_ ,” Wong Yukhei talks through the speaker. Taeyong looks at him on the tab, he seems angry. “ _This fucker’s skin is too hard to shoot at or cut through._ ”

Taeyong hunches on the speaker, finger pressed down on the button to talk through it. “Lee Taeyong speaking,” he says, “the only way to do some damage is by shooting directly into its mouth, but its teeth could damage the arm back, so you have to make sure it works at the first try, load the hand gun as much as possible and try to keep its mouth open with the other arm or it’ll bite it away before you can even shoot.”

“ _Roger_ ,” Yukhei answers.

“Great advice,” the General compliments him, and Taeyong’s glad not to hear the man reprimand him on the fact he spoke without asking for permission. Maybe in Jeju-do, they’re less strict about following rules and hierarchy.

Taeyong follows each movement on the screen, trying to come up with something else if what he advised doesn’t work.

The Categoty III Kaiju is almost done for, Blue Skorpion is destroying it into pieces little by little, two of its limbs are gone, and yet, it’s still fighting.

It’s when the Kaiju opens its mouth to try to latch onto the middle of Blue Skorpion that Taeyong sees it.

“Fuck,” he says, and he doesn’t need to check to know all eyes are on him.

“What? What’s wrong?” Dongyoung asks him, but Taeyong ignores him.

“Connect me to Blue Skorpion,” Taeyong tells Yangyang, and the other takes half a second to do it. His fingers are too fast on the panels, Taeyong can’t even see them properly.

“Lee Taeyong speaking,” he says again into the speaker, he doesn’t waste time. “The Kaiju has an electromagnetic-weapon into its mouth, if it’s activated then the Jaegers will shut off, you have to destroy that first.”

“ _What the fuck_ ,” he hears Suh Youngho curse, and then, “ _how we can do that? It doesn’t let us go near its mouth!_ ”

Taeyong runs his fingers through his hair, he needs time to think, but they don’t have that, the Kaiju can activate it in a matter of seconds and it will be too late.

“It has tried to latch onto your middle multiple times, I think it’s how it will activate the weapon, let it do it, but you have to be ready and before it can activate it, you have to cut through the top of its head,” he tells them, it might not work, even if the skin doesn’t look hardened, the sword might break or miss the weapon. “You have to be precise, stab it right through its center and move it towards your body.”

“ _Okay, we’ll work on that_ ,” Jung Jaehyun tells him, and then the line disconnects.

“Connect me both to Nekros and Obake,” he tells Yangyang, still hunched over the speaker.

“Done.”

Taeyong takes a deep breath and, “Lee Taeyong speaking,” he says, “the Category III Kaiju has an electromagnetic-weapon in its mouth, if Blue Skorpion won’t be able to destroy it and the Kaiju activates it, it will shut off the Jaegers and if it’s strong enough our Shatterdome too. Obake is the only Jaeger that works with a nuclear reactor so it won’t do anything to it, the reactor will absorb the radiations and maybe only malfunction for a few seconds. If it happens, Obake has to hold both of them off, I know it will be hard, but don’t try to kill them, just defend yourself and keep them away from the shoreline until back-up arrives.”

“ _Roger_ ,” Yuta answers, and at the same time, “ _All right, let’s kill this motherfucker_ ,” Yukhei says with a smirk on his lips. Taeyong watches Yukhei and Jungwoo nod to each other, and then, they start fighting.

It takes time, more than Taeyong hoped, but Nekros succeeds with his plan. They lose half of the right arm, but it doesn’t matter because the Kaiju dies, imploding from the inside.

“ _The Category IV Kaiju is dead_ ,” Jungwoo announces, “ _moving as back-up for Blue Skorpion._ ”

Blue Skorpion has tried to destroy the weapon already twice, but without results. Even if it’s a Category III, it’s bigger than the other one and keeping it still isn’t easy when one arm can’t be fully used.

The Kaiju has lost three limbs, a side of its body has been mauled, but it’s still fighting as if it were whole.

“ _Yangyang_ ,” Yukhei says once they’re close to Blue Skorpion and the Kaiju, “ _connect us to Blue Skorpion._ ”

Yangyang’s fingers fly on the panels. “Connected.”

“ _Kim Jungwoo speaking_ ,” they hear, “ _we were informed about the weapon, but we won’t be able to hold the Kaiju still since our right arm is half-gone, we’ll switch positions. Nekros will eliminate the weapon and Blue Skorpion will try to hold it._ ”

“ _It targets the middle of the Jaeger, where the core is, be careful. Cut through the top of its head_ ,” Jaehyun replies back, and then the line goes dead.

Taeyong watches them switch positions, Blue Skorpion moves to the side while Nekros puts itself in front of the Kaiju. The monster takes the bait, it attacks Nekros, and it’s too focused on the Jaeger to notice Blue Skorpion coming from its flank, a sword stabs through its side and another through the top of its body.

The Kaiju could free itself, but the swords keep him still just enough time for Nekros to cut through its head, neat, from the back of its head to its center and mouth. Then, to make sure it’s dead, Blue Skorpion cuts the body in half.

“ _Category III Kaiju, officially dead_ ,” Jaehyun announces with a sigh. “ _Returning to the Shatterdome._ ”

Taeyong’s shoulders drop, his whole body relaxes, he didn’t even notice how tense he got.

“Shit,” Dongyoung whispers by his side, “they fucking did it,” he laughs then.

Taeyong smiles to himself. The emotion he feels when a Mission finishes without casualties and without deaths is incomparable. The relief that takes over his body feels almost like inner peace.

“We have to thank Pilot Lee for that,” the General speaks when the content chatter of the other Technicians goes down. “His tactics made this victory possible.”

“I only did my job, Sir,” Taeyong says back, looking at the General. “I don’t like seeing people die.”

“Neither do I,” the man tells him, “and it’s why you’re here.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

He watches the man leave, but after, someone else catches his attention.

“If you’re able to come up with a plan through those shitty cameras, I wonder what you’d do on the field,” Dongyoung speaks, he’s still close, and their shoulders actually brush against each other for a brief moment.

“It’s not much different from an Aircraft,” Taeyong tells him, eyes locked with the other’s. They’re black, but there’s something in it Taeyong can’t recognise, it’s a feeling, something familiar.

“I meant in a Jaeger,” Dongyoung corrects him, and then, he leaves with a nod of his head and a faint smile on his lips.

Taeyong has never been in a Jaeger, at least not on a battlefield. He can’t know what he’d do, and maybe, he never will.

:

It happens in Hong Kong.

The first time Taeyong tries to Drift with someone, he’s almost twenty-one years old and he doesn’t have any scar on his body.

It doesn’t end well, far from it. The simulation ends with a bloody nose and a headache that feels like it’s splitting his head in two parts. The Drift Compatibility doesn’t even reach thirty percent and all Taeyong’s expectations shatter at the sight of the number.

The second time doesn’t end well either. Neither the third, the fourth and the fifth. At the sixth time, he stops trying. No one is Drift Compatible with him. Maybe, no one ever will, and Taeyong can’t pilot a Jaeger alone, not if he doesn’t want to die in a matter of weeks.

There’s something else he can pilot alone though. Fighter Aircrafts. Usually, they’re the first to arrive when a Kaiju appears from a Breach and also the first to go down, but Taeyong manages to go back to the Shatterdome alive each time.

It happens again and again, until his name is known not only in Hong Kong, but in Tokyo, in Los Angeles, and in all the other Shatterdomes, until he becomes First Fighter Aircraft Pilot in Hong Kong and the whole Division is commanded by him.

Then, he’s moved to Tokyo, and he commands the Fighter Aircrafts Division there too. He helps the Jaeger Pilots close the Breach in the North Pacific Sea and even if he doesn’t agree with the thought, everyone starts to think that maybe they have a chance against the Kaiju. Taeyong never speaks about the matter, he just does whatever he can to exterminate as many monsters as possible.

Not many know the reason why he decides to be an Aircraft Pilot, and Taeyong doesn’t say anything about it. If there are rumours about him, he doesn’t confirm them nor deny them. If someone asks him if it’s true that he has never found someone who’s Drift Compatible with him, he ignores them or just shrugs his shoulders. It doesn’t matter.

In Jeju-do, he arrives as a Fighter Aircraft Pilot, he’s almost twenty-seven, but he’s not sure he’ll remain one until his birthday comes.

:

The cafeteria area is the same in each Shatterdome Taeyong has been to. Tables scattered everywhere and a chatter that never quiets down. It’s where everyone takes a break and has a chance to talk to friends who work on the opposite side of the Shatterdome.

It’s too soon for having friends, but Taeyong doesn’t mind the Jaeger Pilots’ company and the one of their friends, it’s better than sitting alone or even worse, sitting at a table that’s completely silent.

“You know,” a Doctor says, Moon Taeil, and Taeyong glances up from his plate even if the other isn’t directly talking to him. “Yesterday, our Dong—”

“Hyung!” the person in question, Lee Donghyuck, a Cadet training to become a Jaeger Pilot, cuts the other off. “You promised to keep it to yourself!” he whines, a pout on his lips.

Taeyong was right about the Jeju-do Shatterdome being less strict with rules and hierarchy. No one bats an eyelash if they see that Cadets sit together with Jaeger Pilots or Doctors, they don’t even spare them a glance. And Taeyong doesn’t mind, he’s the last to arrive, if everyone’s fine with it, he is too. He has never cared about hierarchy and he never will. Besides, if it weren’t for the Cadets, their table chatter wouldn’t be that fun.

Taeil laughs, “I’m sorry, Donghyuckie, I was kidding, I won’t say anything,” he tells him with a smile. Taeyong’s not convinced by the other’s words, and neither is Donghyuck.

“You should leave the kid alone,” Ten speaks, a Jaeger Mechanic, “he’s just moody because his crush is too focused on becoming the best Jaeger Pilot the world will ever see.”

“Hyung! You too!” Donghyuck exclaims, and Taeyong actually feels sorry for him, but he can’t stop himself from laughing. “Don’t say that! He could hear us!”

Ten giggles, elbows leaned on the table to get closer to the Cadet. “Hyuckie, he’s like five tables over, he will never hear us.”

Donghyuck sighs, shoulders dropped, “I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to sit with us,” he keeps whining, food forgotten.

Taeyong sends a glance to the table Ten was talking about, he’s not completely sure, but he thinks the Cadet they’re talking about is Mark Lee.

“He says we’re scary,” someone takes part in their conversation, and when Taeyong turns around to see who it is, he’s met with Dongyoung’s eyes. The other smiles at him, and then, goes around the table and sits exactly in front of Taeyong, the only seat left. How lucky.

Youngho scoffs, he’s seated by Taeyong’s left side, “It’s not because of us,” he speaks, a smirk on his lips, “he’s too flustered to sit here because of someone else.” His eyes find Donghyuck and the other’s too busy trying not to blush to respond.

Everyone at the table laughs, Taeyong does too, but he sympathises with Donghyuck. It’s not the first time he sees a Cadet having a crush on another, it’s bound to happen since they all do everything together, and Taeyong wasn’t spared when he was a Cadet in the Hong Kong Shatterdome. He had a crush on one of his fellow Cadets too, it didn’t last long, but everytime they trained and he felt the boy’s hands on his skin, his cheeks always flushed.

“Hey,” then he hears, and Taeyong doesn’t need to check to know the word is directed at him, to know who is speaking.

He glances at Dongyoung, chopsticks left on the tray, “Hey,” he says back, voice lower, as if it’s a conversation only for the both of them.

“Is everything okay?” the other asks, the smile didn’t leave his lips, but now it’s directed at Taeyong, and it’s softer. Or maybe, he’s just imagining things, it’s not the first time he imagines something when it’s about Kim Dongyoung.

Taeyong nods, he licks his lips, and he can not notice the way Dongyoung’s eyes follow his tongue. “Yeah, everything’s okay, I’m waiting for the General’s order to start planning the Mission,” he answers, acting as if Dongyoung’s eyes aren’t still on his lips.

Dongyoung hums, and then his eyes lock with Taeyong’s. That familiar feeling he saw in it is still there, and Taeyong hasn’t deciphered it yet.

There are a lot of unasked questions between them. Taeyong wants to ask him the reason why since his brother’s death, Dongyoung has never piloted a Jaeger again, and he’s sure Dongyoung wants to ask him back why he’s an Aircraft Pilot when he can clearly be a Jaeger one. But neither speaks, and Taeyong sends him a small smile, just a curve of his lips lifted up.

When he gets up from the table, he has made up his mind. He won’t stay in the Jeju-do Shatterdome for long, if he doesn’t die and the Mission succeeds, he will be dispatched somewhere else and probably, he will never see Kim Dongyoung again.

It’s why once he walks by the other, still seated at the table, “Meet me in the bathroom,” he says, voice a whisper, words meant to be heard only by him.

He doesn’t wait for Dongyoung’s response, he knows he will come. He saw the answer in his eyes as soon as he said the words.

:

Taeyong doesn’t have to wait long for Dongyoung to show up.

It took the other just the time for Taeyong to check that no one else is in the bathroom, and then, the main door opens and Dongyoung’s there.

Taeyong doesn’t waste time, and neither does Dongyoung. They meet in the middle, first, it’s their hands on each other, and then it’s their lips. It begins as a chaste kiss, but after a few moments it becomes heated, tongues brushing and teeth biting.

Dongyoung guides them inside a bathroom stall, Taeyong locks the door behind his back, and then he’s pressed against it. The other’s lips move from his own lips to his chin, his neck and his clavicles, leaving a hot trail of saliva behind that makes Taeyong shiver.

“I don’t have anything,” Dongyoung murmurs on his skin, tongue lapping at it, fingers unzipping his jacket.

“Me neither,” Taeyong replies, hands locked behind the other’s neck, his head pressed against the door. “But you can fuck my thighs,” he whispers, and when Dongyoung looks up, he seems surprised, Taeyong smiles.

“Yeah? Can I?” he asks, almost as if he can’t believe Taeyong’s words.

Taeyong nods, and then, he runs his fingers through the black strands, he tugs at some to let the other know he wants to be kissed. Dongyoung understands, and he moves his lips back on Taeyong’s. His tongue is hot against his, the grip on his hips makes him whimper.

His hands lower on the other’s pants, tugging them down with his boxers just enough, he doesn’t care if it’s messy, if it will be uncomfortable or if the pants will redden the back of his thighs, he just wants to come. He takes the other’s cock into his hand, and he’s not surprised to find it already half-hard.

Dongyoung groans into his mouth, and the sound travels through Taeyong’s chest. He breaks the kiss only to spit into his hand, and after, it just takes a few strokes to make the other completely hard.

“Fucking beautiful,” Dongyoung whispers on the skin of his jaw, leaving small kisses from his ear to the corner of his lips, “I can’t wait to fuck your thighs.”

Taeyong shudders, a shiver goes from his neck down his whole back, and then, he whines. He wants it too.

With the grip on his hips, Dongyoung turns him around, chest pressed to the door, fingers closed around nothing. He lowers Taeyong’s pants and underwear together, and then, Taeyong hears Dongyoung spit. Soon after, fingers brush against the back of his thighs, they’re wet and deep down, Taeyong knows he should be disgusted about it at least slightly, but he isn’t, not when his cock is hard and begging to be touched.

“Shit,” Dongyoung groans, “I won’t last long.”

Taeyong chuckles, “I hope you won’t,” he tells him, they can’t risk someone finding them.

Dongyoung’s fingers grab one of his thighs and after a brief moment, he feels his cock, hot and hard against his skin. At first, he goes slow, but then, once he has found his pace, the thrusts become faster. His chest presses down on his back, an arm is wrapped around his waist, keeping him up. Taeyong whimpers, but after, Dongyoung’s hand moves from his thigh to his untouched cock and he moans, not loud enough to be heard from someone who’s outside, even if it’s not easy, even if he feels like his chest’s too filled with sounds.

Dongyoung’s fingers wrapped around his cock are enough to make him cum, his fingers, the slide of his cock between his warm and wet thighs, the kisses he’s leaving on the nape of his neck are enough. He shuts his eyes, and with a moan louder than the others, he cums.

Dongyoung follows him soon after, once Taeyong squeezes his thighs together and brings two of Dongyoung’s fingers dirtied by his own cum into his mouth, he sucks on them until they’re clean.

Dongyoung comes between his thighs with Taeyong’s name and a broken moan on his lips, a hand wrapped tight on his hip. Taeyong hopes it will leave a bruise.

Once Dongyoung has cleaned his thighs and they look presentable enough, they get out of the bathroom stall. Taeyong washes his hand, and for the whole time he keeps his eyes on the other. He watches him wash his hands too, and then waits for Dongyoung to speak.

“I hope any of the others will see this when you’ll Drift with them,” are the first words he tells him with a smirk on his face, and Taeyong chuckles. Maybe, somewhere hidden and deep, he was wishing for different words.

“They won’t, don’t worry,” he reassures him.

Taeyong _knows_ it won’t ever happen. No one will ever be Drift Compatible with him. Not in Hong Kong, not in Tokyo, and neither in Jeju-do.

:

Taeyong has to wait two weeks for the General to talk to him.

“Pilot Lee Taeyong is requested to meet the General in his office,” the AI announces, and Taeyong’s not surprised to hear the words, he was waiting for them.

He’s in the General’s office ten minutes after the announcement.

“Good morning,” the General greets him from his seat behind the desk.

Taeyong bows his head, “Good morning, General,” he says and then, he stands still in front of the desk, arms behind his back.

“I’m sure you know why you’re here,” the other tells him, to which Taeyong nods. “I’ve thought about the matter and I know you’ve never found a Pilot who’s Drift—”

“With all due respect,” Taeyong cuts the General off, he hopes the man won’t mind it too much. “But General, I don’t think it will be a great plan to rely on only the possibility of me Drifting with someone.”

The General shakes his head, hands placed on the desk. “I think it will work, I’ve studied both you and the person who will be with you, the calculations made by the Simulator reach at least eighty percent.”

Impossible. His highest number is forty-three percent.

“General,” Taeyong tries to argue back, but the General stops him before he can, a hand raised up.

“Pilot Lee,” he says, calm, “I know it’s hard to believe there’s someone who could be Compatible with you after all the failed simulations, but just give it a try another time, for the last time, if it won’t work, I won’t ask again.”

Taeyong wants to believe the General’s words, he wants to believe there’s someone he will be Drift Compatible with, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to fool himself, he doesn’t want to feel the disappointment he has felt each time the Simulation presented a number lower than the needed one for the Drift Compatibility. He doesn’t want a bloody nose or a headache that will hurt so much he can only cry. He has found his peace with being an Aircraft Pilot, he doesn’t want it to shatter on itself once again.

“Pilot Lee,” the General calls him, “I need your answer.”

Taeyong inhales, and then, he nods. He doesn’t answer with words, maybe because they’d make it even realer, maybe because he hopes that this time, he won’t be disappointed if the Drift Compatibility fails.

:

After almost a month, Taeyong has learnt how to move in the Shatterdome without getting lost or finding himself in a Laboratory with too many Scientists who want to test things on him.

His bedroom is on the fourth floor underground and the Combat Room that’s too small to be used by Cadets is exactly adjacent to his bedroom, only on the ninth floor underground.

Taeyong has found himself in it often, to keep himself in shape or just to be somewhere quiet that’s not his bedroom. Besides, his bedroom isn’t totally quiet, each morning he’s woken up by the Cadets going to their training session and sometimes he can hear Yuta and Sicheng fuck in Sicheng’s room, which is next to his, and Taeyong has already learned to identify the sounds that precedes it, so he can leave on time.

As always, when he enters the Comabt Room, it’s empty, or so he thinks. The light is on, but he can’t see anyone in it.

He places his tablet and bottle of water on the floor, then he crouches down to take his shoes off. It’s when he stands up to walk to the centre of the room that he sees him.

“Kim Dongyoung,” he says, a smile already formed on his lips. It’s the first time they’re completely alone since that day in the bathroom, the other times they saw each other there was at least another person with them.

“Lee Taeyong,” Dongyoung greets him, “didn’t think I would’ve met you here.”

Taeyong chuckles, getting closer to the other. “Yuta and Sicheng are fucking in Sicheng’s room,” are the words he chooses to explain why he’s there. “Besides, I come here often, the Cadets don’t like this Combat Room.”

Dongyoung laughs, hands wrapped with gauzes. Taeyong’s eyes move on a punching bag attached to the ceiling that wasn’t there the last time he was in the room. It’s swinging slightly, and Dongyoung’s breath is labored, his forehead and the strands of hair that touch it are wet.

“I requested it,” Dongyoung tells him once he must have realised what Taeyong’s looking at, “but you can use it whenever you want.”

Taeyong takes another step towards the other, they’re not exactly close, but even from there, he can smell the sweat on Dongyoung. “I prefer to spar,” he tells him, his smile still on his lips. He hopes the other will understand.

His words seem to catch Dongyoung’s interest. “Yeah?” he asks, a glint in his eyes that wasn’t there until seconds before. “Me too.”

“Good,” Taeyong says, and if he could, he’d smile even more. “Wanna do it together?”

Instead, Dongyoung’s smile is loop-sided. “Sure.”

:

Dongyoung’s strong, taller than Taeyong, and yet, he doesn’t let himself be intimidated by the other. Taeyong might be smaller, less built, but he’s strong too, and his size lets him be more agile and flexible. Fighting isn’t all about pure strength.

It’s why he has one of Dongyoung’s arm twisted and pinned behind the other’s back, immobilising him just enough to hit the back of Dongyoung’s knees and make him kneel on the floor with a thud.

Dongyoung pants, he places his free hand against the floor to keep himself up, but Taeyong presses down on his back with a knee, the other arm still blocked into his grip.

“Surrender,” he tells him, amused, “just surrender, Dongyoung.”

Dongyoung chuckles, his fingers closed into a fist, but when Taeyong twists his arm even more, the other almost grunts.

“Never,” he whispers, and then, taking Taeyong by surprise, he grips his left ankle with his free hand and makes him lose balance. Taeyong’s hold on the other’s arm weakens, even if he doesn’t let it go, it’s enough for Dongyoung to switch their positions. His back hits the floor, leaving him breathless, and his arms are both pinned against it, Dongyoung’s fingers wrapped around his wrists. His legs are blocked between Dongyoung’s thighs, and at first, Taeyong tries to use them as leverage, but it doesn’t work. He’s blocked.

“Surrender,” Dongyoung says back at him with a smirk, face close to his, droplets of sweat on his forehead, “just surrender, Taeyong.”

Taeyong tries to move his arms, but Dongyoung presses them down on the floor even harder, he keeps them into an iron grip.

He huffs, eyes into the other. “No,” he whispers, “I won’t.” And then, he’s kissing Dongyoung.

The other makes a sound, surprised, Taeyong smiles against his lips. It’s when Dongyoung loosens the grip on his wrists that he locks his arms around the other’s neck and his legs around his waist, and just flips them over.

Dongyoung’s the one with his back against the floor and with a swift movement, Taeyong wraps his fingers around both of his wrists, while his other hand goes on the other’s neck. He places his thighs by Dongyoung’s sides, pressed against them, ass on his abdomen.

“Surrender,” he repeats, almost on the other’s lips, and Dongyoung laughs.

“You cheated,” he tells him, but he doesn’t fight Taeyong. “I surrender,” then, he says, exhaling.

Taeyong smiles to himself. “I didn’t cheat, you just stopped thinking with your head and started thinking with your dick,” he teases him, and even if Dongyoung surrendered, he doesn’t move away.

Dongyoung laughs again, louder, chest vibrating under Taeyong. “You kissed me!”

Taeyong laughs too, and lets Dongyoung’s wrists go. He’s surprised when he feels the other’s fingers on his hips. “You call that a kiss?” Taeyong asks, amused, he doesn’t comment on the way the fingers tighten around him.

The other snorts, shaking his head, and the skin under Taeyong’s hand suddenly feels too hot, so he moves it away, but Dongyoung stops it before he can place it on the floor. He takes his wrist into his hand, and then, he brings Taeyong’s to his lips. Contrary to Taeyong’s expectations, he doesn’t kiss the skin, he just brushes his lips against its back. He places the kiss on the inside of his wrist, where thin veins are. The lips are hot and Taeyong shivers, even if he’s sweating.

“What are you doing?” he trembles, his voice doesn’t sound like his own.

Dongyoung smiles against his wrist, and then, he uses the grip to bring their faces closer.

He’s breathless even before they start kissing.

One arm wraps around his waist, keeping him glued to Dongyoung’s body, and then, their lips brush against each other a second time. Taeyong closes his eyes, and he loses himself into the other’s mouth. He tugs at his lips with his teeth, and then he soothes them with his tongue, he lets their breaths mingle and his fingers search for Dongyoung.

Taeyong runs his hands through the other’s hair, again and again, until he can only feel its softness, the strands wet by sweat.

They kiss, and kiss, they don’t take a break, not even when Taeyong’s lungs feel like they will explode soon, not when his lips start to hurt, to feel bruised. Dongyoung’s lips against his are almost like a drug, they intoxicate him, make his whole body shudder with pleasure.

Then, the lights turn off, and it’s the only reason why they break apart. It’s as if the darkness has burst their bubble.

“What?” Dongyoung murmurs, and Taeyong’s too fazed to care about the lights.

A small white emergency light turns on, lighting the room just enough to let Taeyong see the other’s face. His lips are red and his cheeks are flushed, Taeyong’s sure he doesn’t look much better.

“We should go,” he tells Dongyoung. The other nods, helping him get up.

His legs feel weak, his whole body aches because of their sparring session, but he doesn’t complain, not when it ended in the way it did.

All of a sudden, he feels shy, it hits him only then that if it weren’t for the lights, they would’ve kept going. But then, he tells himself they already did more than kissing, and yet, it’s not the same.

The kiss they shared wasn’t just a kiss driven by attraction towards each other. It was more than that, it felt heavier than the ones they shared in the bathroom, the kiss left him more shaken than what they did that day, it left him open and easy to read.

And the thought doesn’t scare him, even if maybe it should, he doesn’t try to repress the thought that maybe, he wants something like this to happen again.

Not maybe. He wants it. He just needs to find the courage to voice it out.

:

_The sand under his feet is soft, a little wet too._

_Taeyong’s never been to the beach. His mother didn’t want to bring him and his sister, she was too scared._

_When he hears someone laugh, he glances up._

_He’s not the one who’s at the beach. Dongyoung is. A younger version of Dongyoung. One second before he’s laughing, and the one after, he’s running away._

_Taeyong doesn’t need to check to know what he’s running away from._

_Then, he’s falling. He falls, and falls, but he never reaches the bottom because once he blinks, he’s standing up in a bedroom._

_“Don’t go, please,” someone says, they sound hurt. Taeyong doesn’t recognise them. It’s another of Dongyoung’s memories._

_“I told you thousands of times,” Dongyoung answers, he sounds cold instead, “I won’t change my mind about this.”_

_Dongyoung shuts the door in front of Taeyong, the sound too loud in his ears and when he blinks again, his sister is in front of him, her hands cupping his face._

_His sister?_

_“You have to hide, Taeyong-ah,” she says, and Taeyong wants to sob. He also wants to close his eyes and forget. He wants the memory to stop._

_The last thing he sees is the Kaiju._

Once he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Dongyoung staring at him. He looks worried. They were in each other’s head. Dongyoung saw it too.

“I tried to stop—”

“Lee Taeyong and Kim Dongyoung,” the AI announces, cutting the other off. Taeyong closes his eyes again, he prefers pretending it’s not happening, that he’s still back there in his memories, the only place where he can still see his sister and hold her hand. He knows its next words already, words he doesn’t want to hear. When he didn’t have it, he thought he wanted it, but now that it has become real, he doesn’t want it anymore.

“Drift Compatibility reached one-hundred percent.”

Taeyong keeps his eyes closed.

_No. Everyone but not him._

If they’re lucky, one of the two is already a dead man. If they’re not, then they’re both dead.

:

The new attack comes later than it was expected. It comes thirty-four days after the last attack, almost two weeks later than when it was predicted. But it’s even worse than the last. The worst.

This time, Taeyong’s not sleeping when the alarm goes off. In his ears, it sounds louder, it makes his whole body vibrate and his legs shake.

“Two Category IV Kaiju and one Category V Kaiju detected near the East China Sea Breach, directed towards mainland,” the AI announces, and the words feel both familiar and foreign to his ears. He doesn’t want to believe them. “All four Jaegers will engage in combat.”

This time, something else’s different too. He doesn’t run towards the elevator that goes to the LOCCENT Mission Control area, he runs towards the one that goes to the Jaeger Hangars, and he doesn’t need to check who’s running by his side once he gets out of his bedroom.

“Shit,” Dongyoung says, “it’s bad, it’s so fucking bad!” he almost screams, finger pressing again and again on the Hangars floor button. Taeyong reaches his hand towards the other’s, he takes it into his and squeezes.

“We can do it,” he tells him, words whispered, even if no one else is in the elevator. “We’ll kill them.” Taeyong’s not sure. Dongyoung’s right, it’s bad, but they can’t let the dread already take over them, not when they still haven’t tried fighting.

“Don’t lie,” Dongyoung says through his gritted teeth, jaw tensed, “don’t fucking lie to my face like that, Taeyong.”

Taeyong sighs, but he doesn’t let the other’s hand go. “I’m not lying,” he argues back, or maybe he is, “ _fucking_ believe me! You can’t give up if you haven’t even tried! I’ll kick your ass if I die because of you!”

Dongyoung snorts, shaking his head. “You can’t kick my ass if we’re both dead,” he tells him, but then, the elevator doors open and Taeyong can’t reply back, not when there are hands already moving them around to suit them up.

They meet again in the Control Pod, suited up and ready to Drop.

“Alpha Aquarii ready to Drop,” the AI says, and Taeyong closes his eyes. They didn’t even have the time to test their Drift Compatibility, to get accustomed to being into each other’s heads, to their memories.

“ _Initiating Neural Handshake_ ,” Yangyang informs them.

Taeyong feels when it begins. It’s like electricity is running through his veins, from his head to his toes meanwhile his whole life and Dongyoung’s replays in his head.

“ _Neural Handshake completed and stabilised_ ,” Yangyang’s voice resonates in the Control Pod, and after, they’re Dropping.

Taeyong sends a glance to Dongyoung, and the other looks back at him. They’re in each other’s head, they don’t need words. And yet, “What’s better than battlefield, mh?” Dongyoung says, Taeyong knows he’s thinking about them not having tested their Compatibility.

“Let’s do this,” Taeyong answers, “let’s kick those fuckers’ ass back into the Breach.”

Dongyoung laughs. Taeyong smiles. They can do it. _He can do it._

 _You can do it_ , he tells himself, but then he realises the voice’s not his. It’s Dongyoung’s. _We can do it. Together._

:

“ _Nekros and Alpha Aquarii will engage in combat with the Category V_ ,” the General tells them through the speakers, “ _Obake and Blue Skorpion will take care of the other two._ ”

“Roger,” Taeyong confirms, nodding to himself.

 _Go big or go home_ , Dongyoung tells him through their link.

The four minutes needed to get to the Kaiju’s position feel endless. Taeyong keeps his eyes closed for the whole time, but it doesn’t work, it doesn’t make time pass faster.

At the same time, once the wires attached to the aircrafts disconnect from the Jaeger, Taeyong thinks it’s too soon. He needs more time to prepare himself, but he doesn’t have it, because as soon as they land in the water, the Category V Kaiju attacks them.

It’s bigger than everything he has ever seen, it seems stronger too.

He doesn’t need to think about what to do, to wonder if Dongyoung will do the same thing. Taeyong just moves and he doesn’t need to check to see Dongyoung’s doing the same thing as himself.

They block the Kaiju’s attack with both their arms, but the force pushes them back, they manage not to fall, and yet, it’s enough for the Kaiju to attack them again. This time, it lands the hit right on the power core.

“Let’s work on pushing its attacks back,” Dongyoung tells him, tabs open in front of him to recalibrate their power core, “we won’t last long if it keeps attacking the core!”

Taeyong nods, and then, “Yangyang!” he almost screams, “give us some information about it!”

“ _Some parts of its body absorb the energy of the attacks, mostly the vital ones, and its brain and secondary one are protected by iron-clad skin, it will be almost impossible to get through it and kill it by destroying the brains,_ ” Yangyang informs them.

 _Think, just think_ , Taeyong tells himself, he has to come up with a plan. They can’t keep pushing back the attacks, they’ll tire themselves out soon and then, the Kaiju will end them. But at the same time, they can’t just attack without calculating where the hit will land, if they end up hitting the parts that absorb the energy, they will tire themself out soon like that too. There has to be a way, Taeyong just can’t see it, not when he has to fight and think together.

“Don’t think!” Dongyoung screams at him, “just act, don’t overthink, Taeyong!”

His name feels like a slap to his face, it feels like he’s waking up from a nightmare with a jolt.

The Kaiju is charging at them, even if they’re trying combined attacks with Nekros, the Kaiju doesn’t seem fazed, not even in the slightest. They didn’t damage its body at all, it has just absorbed all their hits and directed the energy back at them thousands of times stronger, making it hard to even think about attacking.

Deep down, he knows they’re all waiting for Taeyong to come up with something. The Kaiju is something they have never seen, just like the Category IV that had iron-clad skin and the one with the electromagnetic-weapon. Taeyong came up with a plan to eliminate them, and it worked, but he wasn’t on the battlefield, he didn’t have to think about trying not to die too.

“Fuck!” he shouts when the Kaiju attacks, they lift their right arm to defend the Control Pod and the other to attack back, but they hit a vital part again and the hit is just absorbed. “Fuck! Fuck! It knows what it’s doing, it’s tiring us out!”

“ _We need an opening_!” Yukhei tells them through the speaker, Nekros’ right side is already destroyed, but it doesn’t compromise the Jaeger. “ _Its left side near the spikes, the skin there doesn’t absorb our attacks!_ ”

 _Step by step_ , Dongyoung encourages him, and Taeyong nods, he doesn’t have to think about the whole plan. It can be little by little, small attack by small attack.

“When it attacks it tends to go for the Control Pod or the power core with its upper limbs, if we get a hold of them then, it will leave its side open and we could manage to land a hit,” Taeyong says, fingers on the panel to load the guns, “Alpha Aquarii will keep it still and Nekros will attack!”

“ _Roger_!” Jungwoo confirms, and Taeyong feels Dongyoung agree with the plan in his head.

Taeyong doesn’t know if it will work, but they can’t know if they don’t try the attack.

It happens too fast, the Kaiju attacks and they manage to block its limbs, guns on the front side of the Jaeger keeping its focus away from Nekros. Taeyong’s not sure Kaiju can feel pain, if they can think, but when Nekros attacks its side with a sword and stabs it deep through its skin, the Kaiju wails. Then, it frees its limbs from their grip with a strength they can’t compete against, and with a leap that shouldn’t be possible in the water, it latches onto Nekros.

They try to hit it with their fists, with their guns, to detach it from Nekros, but nothing works. The Kaiju’s claws clutch onto the metal and they tear it apart, and after, its mouth closes around the Control Pod.

Taeyong screams. Yukhei and Jungwoo will die. They will die because his plan didn’t work, because he was foolish enough to believe they could attack a Category V that easily.

Its fangs tear the metal around the Control Pod until it’s completely yanked away from the Jaeger.

 _They’re going to die_ , he tells himself. He wants to shut his eyes, to block everything out, but he can’t, he has to watch them die.

But then, “ _Pilots dispatched through Safety Pods!_ ” he hears through the speakers, and if Taeyong wasn’t attached to the mechanical limb, he’d fall on the floor, legs too weak to keep him up.

“ _Obake and Blue Phoenix are engaging in combat with the two Category IV, they can’t come as back-up for Alpha Aquarii_ ,” Yangyang informs them.

“We’re on our own,” Dongyoung tells him, he looks determined, Taeyong can feel his determination to kill the Kaiju. “Trust me,” he whispers, and Taeyong wonders how the tables have turned, in the elevator, it was Dongyoung the one believing they couldn’t do it, “we’ll kill this motherfucker.”

They’re the first to attack. Its neck’s skin isn’t hardened and when it gets closer they lock their hands around its neck and unload everything they have on it. A chunk of flesh explodes and blue blood dirts the metal.

“ _You’re close to its secondary brain_ ,” Yangyang tells them, sending a scan of the Kaiju’s body to their panels, brains blinking red, “ _you’ll get closer if you keep hitting the neck_.”

They activate both swords into their hands, if they engage in close combat to reach its brains, they need something quicker than guns.

The Kaiju attacks, and at first, they push it back, they cut the skin of its neck even more, not enough to get to the brain, but it’s a step closer. Maybe, it can feel pain, or maybe, it feels threatened because the next time it attacks, it goes for their Control Pod again. They defend it, and yet, a claw goes through and breaks its front.

He knows something’s wrong when he feels Dongyoung shouting in his head, and at the same time, he can hear his voice echoing in the Pod. Then, he understands.

The claw tore through his side too, it destroyed the suit and there’s blood, he can feel it, hot, sliding down.

After, he feels the pain. This time, he actually falls on the floor, the limb doesn’t keep him up. An arm flies to his side, he tries to detach himself from the pain, but he can’t. He can’t.

“Taeyong!” Dongyoung screams, desperate, in pain. He’s feeling Taeyong’s pain, as if it were his own. “Taeyong, answer me!”

Taeyong screams too, knees sinked into the hard floor, forehead pressed against them. It hurts, his whole body feels on fire, he can’t think straight, even if the Kaiju could finish them off in an instant.

The Kaiju.

He’s still on the battlefield. He can’t lose. He can’t die.

Taeyong shuts his lips together into a line, he takes a deep breath and even if his body still feels like it’s tearing apart from the inside, “I can fight,” he says through his gritted teeth.

“No!” Dongyoung argues back, Taeyong knows he’s looking at him. “You can’t! You’re injured, we have to retire!”

“No!” He won’t retire, not when Obake and Blue Skorpion are still fighting other two Kaiju. They will all die if they retire.

“You can’t think about that!” Dongyoung screams at him, and Taeyong wishes he could sever their Neural Handshake.

“Don’t tell me what to think about!”

“I’m in your fucking hea—”

A scream cuts the other off. It comes from Taeyong’s lips and Taeyong didn’t even feel it built in the back of his throat.

With the scream and the wave of pain, it comes a memory.

“Taeyong! Don’t chase the rabbit!” are the last words he hears, but they’re too distant for Taeyong to hold onto them, to let them ground himself.

It’s too late, he’s chasing the rabbit.

_He’s in the Control Pod. But he’s not attached to the mechanical limb. He’s in the back._

_Alpha Aquarii is fighting a Kaiju._

_It’s not his memory. It’s Dongyoung’s._

_Dongyoung and his brother are connected to the mechanical limbs, they’re fighting together and it looks like they’re winning._

_Taeyong walks closer to them, but he’s stopped when the Control Pod shakes, and then, it’s breaking. A ray of sun enters, it blinds him for a brief second and when he sees again, he realises the Pod is broken into two parts. Dongyoung’s screaming something, but Taeyong can’t hear him, he can’t hear anything at all. It’s like he’s in a bubble and the outside world is muted._

_Dongyoung’s part is still connected to the Jaeger, but his brother’s isn’t. It’s falling and the Kaiju closes its mouth around it. Taeyong knows Dongyoung’s brother is trying to sever their Neural Handshake, they both know he’s going to die and he doesn’t want Dongyoung to feel his pain, his helplessness, his fear. But he’s too slow, the Kaiju is faster and before Dongyoung’s brother can confirm the termination, the Kaiju yanks him away from the mechanical limb, fangs tearing through his body._

_This time, when Dongyoung screams, Taeyong can hear him. And he screams with him. They both fall on the floor. The pain is too much to bear, somewhere in the water Dongyoung’s brother is dying, alone, and yet, they can feel his pain, his tears falling down on their cheeks and his pleas whispered by their own voices._

_Taeyong cries, he doesn’t know where it hurts, he tries to brush his fingers on his wounds, but then, when he looks down, there isn’t blood, his suit isn’t torn apart. And neither is Dongyoung’s._

_He glances at the other, he’s screaming, there are tears on his cheeks too, but he’s fine, he’s not injured._

_“Taeyong!” he hears, but it’s not Dongyoung, not the Dongyoung of the memory, they didn’t know each other._

_Taeyong looks around himself, the Control Pod is falling apart, alarms are going off, red lights blinking non-stop._

_Someone calls his name again, but the voice is distant, Taeyong can barely hear it, and yet, it’s screaming._

_“Come back!”_

When he opens his eyes, he’s in Alpha Aquarii again, but it’s not falling apart, only its front is broken.

There’s blood on his hands.

“Taeyong! Look at me!”

Taeyong looks up, Dongyoung has disconnected himself from the mechanical limb and he’s kneeling by his side. His hands are hovering over him, and yet, he’s not touching him, he looks scared, terrified.

And then, Taeyong hugs him, even if he’s hurt. He wraps his arms behind Dongyoung’s neck, face pressed to its side.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Dongyoung murmurs in his hair, he’s warm. “I’m here.”

Taeyong shuts his eyes, tightening the grip around the other, and hopes he couldn’t feel any pain.

 _I’m sorry_ , he wants to say, he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for. Maybe for getting injured before they could kill the Kaiju, or maybe for chasing the rabbit. Taeyong doesn’t know.

He opens his lips to whisper the words, but all of a sudden, even breathing seems too hard. He doesn’t want to fall asleep, he wants to kill the Kaiju, and yet, he’s too weak to fight back, to open his eyes and remain awake. So he just lets it happen.

The last thing he feels is Dongyoung’s fingers on his face. They’re warm, gentle on his skin, and maybe Taeyong smiles.

Then, he passes out.

:

Taeyong’s not alone. He can’t understand the words, but someone’s talking. The voice sounds familiar, like he should know it, and yet, any name comes to his mind. It’s just blank.

He tries to open his eyes, but his eyelids feel glued, and even if he wants to speak, he can’t part his lips. So he focuses on what’s surrounding him, even if he can’t see it.

There’s more than one person, the voices are mixed at some point, but he’s almost sure it’s at least two people. He knows they’re someone he knows, but his mind’s too fogged to remember their names. One’s close to him, and yet, Taeyong can’t understand their words, it’s like a foreign language, he hears the sounds, but he doesn’t understand their meanings. They’re like a lull, and maybe he falls asleep and wakes up more than once.

When he wakes up again, this time, he opens his eyes. It comes naturally, he doesn’t have to think about it, and his body feels like his own a bit more. He’s still not certain he can speak, but at least, he can put a face to the voices.

First, he sees Dongyoung. He’s seated on a chair too small for him, placed in front of the bed, his head is leaned against the wall, arms crossed on his chest, and his eyes are closed. Taeyong doesn’t know if he’s sleeping or if he’s just waiting.

Taeyong tries to speak, and even if he parts his lips, no sound comes out of it.

It’s the beep of the monitor connected to his arm that catches the other’s attention, because it gets louder and Dongyoung sends it a glance, after, he moves his eyes on Taeyong and it’s then that their eyes lock.

As soon as Dongyoung realises that Taeyong’s awake, his face relaxes, his whole body sags down, as if all the worry has left it in an instant.

“Hey,” he whispers, and Taeyong’s glad his voice isn’t louder because his head hurts, “you’re awake.”

Taeyong nods. He’s awake, but he doesn’t remember the reason why he was sleeping. He’s not in his bedroom, but the ceiling made of metal suggests to him that he’s still in the Shatterdome, just another part of it. And once he realises he’s on a bed, I.V. in his arm and a monitor to check his heartbeat, he understands.

He’s in the Medical Area. But why? He’s not in—

Maybe he was too distracted by everything else, or maybe his brain hadn’t just registered it, but as soon as he thinks about the pain, he feels it. It hits him like a wave, it starts from his side and then, it spreads, it reaches his legs, his chest, his arms.

Taeyong grits his teeth, eyes shut, and like that, he remembers.

The Category V Kaiju. The pain. The memory. It all comes back, leaving him breathless.

Dongyoung’s at his side in an instant, and the one after, someone else arrives. Taeil.

“Taeyong,” he calls him. Taeyong looks at him, he wants to tell him it hurts, but he can’t find the words, so he just watches Taeil inject something in his veins and even if maybe it’s just all in his head, as soon as the liquid is all inside his body, he tells himself the pain has already subsided.

“It will help you with the pain,” Taeil tells him, and Taeyong nods. “The injury isn’t bad, we were able to close it well, but it will hurt for a bit.”

“O-Okay,” is the first word he says under his breath, tongue feeling too heavy in his mouth to speak more than a few. “T-Thank you.”

Taeil smiles at him, it’s soft, comforting, and then, after he has gently squeezed his hand, he leaves, closing the door behind his back.

With a sigh, Dongyoung catches his attention. Taeyong glances at him, he looks tired, there are bags under his eyes, and his hair seems too disheveled, as if he run his fingers through it too many times.

Dongyoung looks back at him, and with another sigh, he goes to sit on his chair.

“How long?” Taeyong asks, his voice sounds stronger, but even if it’s just a two word sentence, he’s slightly left with a shortness of breath.

“Two days,” Dongyoung answers, words soft to his ears, “Taeil preferred to keep you asleep a bit more than necessary. And before you ask, Obake and Blue Skorpion killed all the Kaiju.”

Taeyong nods. The other’s right, he was going to ask that next.

“Have you been—” he starts speaking, but then a small cough cuts him off. “Here for the whole time?”

It’s Dongyoung’s turn to nod. “Yeah, I left only to take a shower and change out of the suit.”

“Why?”

Dongyoung chuckles, a gentle smile forms on his lips. “You’ve been into my head, you already know the answer.”

He’s right, Taeyong knows the answer. He just wants to hear the words said by the other’s voice. And even if they’re not in each other’s head anymore, Dongyoung seems to be aware of that.

“I like you,” he says, and his voice is even lower, as if he’s afraid someone else besides Taeyong could hear him, “I mean— I’ve liked you since the first moment I saw you, but— Yeah. I really like you.” Then, he chuckles again, eyes lowered onto his hands placed on his lap. “But I guess you already knew that. I know too, about you I mean… it just wasn’t the right time to talk about it when we Drifted together.”

Taeyong smiles, and when Dongyoung looks up at him, he lowers his head, embarrassed by his flushed cheeks. “Yeah,” he murmurs, “me too— I like you too, a lot.”

He’s not mad that Dongyoung found out through the Drift and that he wasn’t able to tell him first, actually, he’s glad, maybe he would’ve never found the courage to tell Dongyoung if they hadn’t Drifted together. Maybe, he would’ve kept his feelings tucked somewhere in his chest until they would’ve consumed away on their own.

“You should rest more,” Dongyoung tells him after, standing up. “I’ll go get you something to eat.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong says, sheets clutched by his fingers.

“It’s nothing.”

“Not for the food— I mean for that too, but. For everything. For guiding me back from the memory, and— and for trusting me.”

Dongyoung stills, and when he looks at him, his face is serious, but he also seems lost into his thoughts, almost not there in the room with him.

“You know, some would say that when the Drift Compatibility between two people reaches one-hundred percent, it means they’re soulmates.”

Taeyong gasps. He has heard of that, of course he has, but he has never thought the words could be directed at him, that the person he’s Drift Compatible with would tell him that.

Then, Dongyoung smiles, his gums showing, and Taeyong finally understands what’s the familiar feeling he could always catch in the other’s eyes. It was longing. The same Taeyong felt. But now, it’s not in his eyes anymore. And maybe, it’s gone from Taeyong’s heart too.

Taeyong’s surprised when instead of leaving the room, he sees Dongyoung walking back to his bed and with his fingers gently placed on his cheek, he presses a kiss on his forehead.

“Rest,” he whispers on his skin. Taeyoung’s left speechless, so he just closes his eyes and lets the warmth of the other’s hand lull him to sleep.

:

Maybe they won’t close the Breach in the East Sea China, maybe they’ll die trying to kill as many Kaiju as they can, or maybe they’ll succeed, and then they will be dispatched somewhere else to do the same. To another country, to another Shatterdome. And it will start all again, again and again. Like a circle, endless.

Though, it’s different now.

Taeyong has someone he’s Drift Compatible with, someone who will always be by his side during a battle as long as they live, someone who will understand him without needing words, someone who will know Taeyong better than he knows himself.

Someone who will always be with him no matter what.

And Dongyoung has him back, until Taeyong’s heart beats.

They have each other, and it’s enough. It’s enough because Taeyong believed he would’ve been always alone, and instead, he has found Dongyoung.

Kim Dongyoung, his soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

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